"This year, we get to vote on reelecting our Muslim socialist president, legalizing pot, legalizing gay marriage, mandating burrito drops—this election is so fucking exciting that you're going to need a Xanax smoothie right after you vote.
"But you do have to vote—because all that exciting shit isn't going to legalize itself. Both gay marriage and legal pot are teetering on the brink. If they lose, it'll be because you had that Xanax smoothie before you voted. If they win, it's because you voted for gay marriage and legal pot—and free burrito drops—before you had your Xanax smoothie.
"Even the governor's race is exciting this year: Republican Rob McKenna is running for governor, and he's a right-wing, anti-choice fuckwad who wants to lock up pot smokers, break up gay couples, and give you zero burritos. Vote for Democrat Jay Inslee instead, a man who kicked off his campaign with a solemn promise to legalize gay burritos everywhere."
Anyway, that's how the Seattle Stranger starts out with its 2012 election guide. Lots of exciting stuff to vote for this year in the state of Washington!
I'm also in favor of legalizing gay marriage as well. And if we get the Democratic governor in too… I bet we get formally kicked out of the US of A for being a bit too progressive.